It's a beautiful mess

I'm tired.

I'm tired of working.
I'm tired of people.
and I'm tired of Pullman.

I try to run, what's the point if you've got no place to run to.

I can't run far enough to not be tired.

3 months.
Just 3 months.

You Can't Stop the Beat

So I really wanna fight someone.

(Well anyone but Raquel!)

Not because I have a lot of pent up rage (running gets rid of my frustration for the most part). But because I think it would be really fun just to fight and hey, maybe a good bonding experience haha. I don't really wanna get hit in the head or bleed though, so I guess I only want to fight someone I can beat. =)

I guess fighting someone is something I can add to my ever-growing bucket list. But maybe, just maybe, I'll get to cross something off this coming Fall =)

whyyouwannabringmedown

I didn't go running today.

Before I went running because I wanted to get in shape. Then it became part of my routine. Next I enjoyed it. Recently it has become my way to relieve my stress.

Anytime I am stressed I know I don't hide it well. I feel bad when I get down bc I look at how much I have been blessed with, and I know that I shouldn't be so caught up in my own problems.

Sometimes I love Pullman. I love the people here and familiarity, but I don't think I can handle it anymore. People used to ask me how could I attend WSU and have lived here my whole life. I used to not care. Now I think it is starting to take a toll on me. I don't know what it is, but I really just need to leave.

The sad part is, I have a way out. I have a really awesome opportunity and I don't know if I will be able to go. And if I don't go, I'll be stuck here, with almost nothing to look forward to. I gave up my house, my clubs, my classes...I understand that it is a big choice, but it's my choice. I don't understand why it has to be your path you want me down. Not my own. I just hope it works out.